Last Thursday was the first day of fall.
It was also our 2 month mark.
I sold Rob’s 4 Runner.
I turned my heater on for the first time that night.
How do all these things tie together? They just all prove that the world is moving forward. We have to move forward. This means the holidays are approaching, a new season of firsts without Rob.
For those of you who think I’ve withdrawn the last couple of months, maybe I have. It’s called grief and there’s no right or wrong way to do it. I get to honor it and be patient with it in whatever way it comes. If my withdrawal causes you pain or you just don’t know how to handle it then step aside because so many more have proven that they can step up and handle it. Rob’s death and my response to it doesn’t give everyone fear to be around me. I’ve seen so many friends and family near and far be there for me through the weeks after the funeral. Sometime those are the hardest. When all that dust settles and people go back home and back to their lives and suddenly there you are left with all these pieces of your new broken life.
It’s been eye-opening to see who’s really been here for me over these last 2 months and who has not. I’m impressed with those that have decided they will stand beside me cause I know it’s not easy. It’s not easy when they pick up the phone to say hello and all they here on the other end is my cry. It’s not easy to keep asking what I need or keep offering help only to have me decline. It’s not easy to feel like one is giving everything to a friend and not receiving anything back.
I’m so very grateful and blessed to have these people in my life that have stood up to the task of being there for me through this post Rob time. Grateful for people with no excuses who just show up in so many ways in my life without even being asked. And I’m not just talking about those nearby me. Friends and family far away have blessed us in so many ways. Even a text or phone call to say I’m thinking of you means a lot.
So grief is messy and sometimes I don’t want help and sometimes I do. Sometimes I don’t even know what to ask for so be the patient with me and just keep on asking how you can help because one day I will say yes or will have a task to give you.
Just like I’m patient with my girls. They too are figuring out this grief thing. They don’t always know what they want or need. I totally understand that, but I just keep giving them my love and keep offering what I can to help them bear this pain and grief.
The best gift you can give anyone is your love.